...

All the words, very hurting, hurt me to the max. yet, it's the truth, can't deny it.
i won't change. i just want to be as simple as my mummy's little girl.
yea, i'm really scared. everything was correct and therefore it's so hurting.
i just hope that i can freeze myself for studies for a day. no phone, no internet, no facebook, no tv. just studies. i'll tell u whether i can do it or not tomorrow, at this time, 0236


btw, Happy Birthday to my dearest Cel. I love you a lot. No matter what happens, always remember that I will be there for you. God bless you. May all your wishes come true. Be happy on your special day! Remember, everything will be fine. Muacks.

i cant i cant i cant!!!! YEA I CAN'T.

what????

dont know why am i here.
dont know why i can't study.
dont know why i need you so much.
dont know why i can't do anything.
dont know why i'm worrying for this subject when i'm studying the other.
dont know why i just can't finish one chapter.
don't know where is my determination and spirit.
at this time, i'm losing it. please. don't. HAIZ. :(

randomly;

huhu

have u ever heard that one does add maths till wanna vomit?
i think i'm the first if I really vomit out.
Feeling really unwell. But, I only complete one paper. just ONE. and, it's with the help of friends and answers. :( wonder how am i going to do............ argh.

Welcome er jie's son :))))) Hope I can meet you soon. May God bless the family :)


finally it's settled. :)

ups and downs in life

life is like on a roller coaster's ride. truly agree with it.
sometimes you will be truly lost in it. that you don't know what's correct, what's wrong, who to trust and so on.
anyway, that's life. it will make you stronger.

now the only thing I know is,
I don't have the right at all to say that I'm stressed, I don't have the mood to study.
As a student, as a daughter, it's my responsibility.
argh. believe it or not, I can't study. Nothing is entering my mind. I don't know why.
Spm is the last chance. I don't have any chances anymore. It's now or never, for me to work hard.

I need my determination, my passion for the ten subjects. For just another one month. After that, spm, get out of my life.


btw, hate the connection. My house's connection. I can't blog because of it. Can't change twitter's photo because of it. argh. I deactivated my facebook account. Yet, I'm using my brother's one. It makes no difference at all. Wahaahaha. -.-

jolene, don't u think its too late? :(

need.

my heart is aching.
but i want the best for us.
i know u need me to be calmed.

:(

very out of control recently.
just don't come near me, as u see, there's a danger sign on me.

korean bbq.

I'm back here to my beloved blog. Early prediction: I'm sure this will be a very wordy and long post, I'm sure too that I can't finish this post by today. I have lots and lots of things to tell!! :) Because of my laziness, I have delayed this post again and again.

I shall start this with Tuesday, 5/10/2010 It was my dearest mummy's Birthday. I celebrated with her earlier on Sunday, still owing her a present. :( Will give you soon soon! hehe. My dear friends haven't finish their exam actually, they had their last accounts' paper on that day. Mum asked to go to school. It was her birthday, so I gave in and I went to school. It was as expected, I wasted whole day in school, none of the teachers entered the class even after their paper. So, they finally finished their exam, FINALLY. We were chatting happily, had been the noisiest class of the whole block, laughing away liked no one's business, wandering around the school, asking for marks and so on. We made so much noise! haha. We chat about everything. It was a sudden decision, to go to Korean bbq for dinner as a celebration for the end of their exam. Xuewah and I were talking about it, she said she hasn't tried before, I tried but I wanted to go again, so both of us were very ''high'' bout it, we said lets go! No one wanna join us as they were going another day. At the end, Xuewah and I went. It was great! It had been ages since I last gone out with her.  :)


I reached there earlier because mum had tuition. And guess what, I reached there and I saw the sign board there written '' korean-chinese princess full moon party 7.30-8.30pm'', ''today's special, free squid 8.30-2.00am'' * I forgot it's squid or sotong, something like that la, haha.
When I read the sign, I sien liao. But then, they said till 8.30pm. So I called xuewah to ask her whether she still want to come or not. She said she will come since we could go up at 8.30. I went to Watsons for a walk, to buy pimple gel to cure my pimples!! ANGRY!!!! It's after exam, and I'm having all the pimples now! :( Soon, she came. Still early. Two sapo then went to e station for a drink to wait for 8.30. Chit chatted with her, had great catch up with xuewah :)

Then we finally went back there, for dinner. Super duper hungry. Went up, I still remember before the meal, xuewah said, not bad huh till 2.00am, next time birthday party can plan here. Our princess's birthday is coming soon. hahaha. But after the meal........ hahahaha XD

The waiter gave us the menu. FINALLY, they had done with their menu. But, there's a great increase in the price. Before this, they don't charge for their rice and side dishes. Now, one bowl of rice, 3ringgit, refilling for side dishes, u need to pay 1ringgit. The two of us, discussed and discussed what to order. We ordered, chicken for two servings, means two pieces la, and the seafood soup(I don't know what does it called in english) haha. That's for 4 to 6 person. And we called it. Don't doubt, there were just two of us that night!!! hahahahaha.


and lets see what's the result...........

this is the picture of everything. we, both of us, FINISHED EVERYTHING. hahaha.
don't play play alright. 

this is my plate. As u can see, the long shell, I don't know what's that called,
I know I ate most of it, and the ''la la'' I ate all. 

This is xuewah's plate. See all the prawn's shell. She finished most of it cz I'm allergic to prawns.
At the end, I helped her too. I don't know how to ''open/eat'' the prawn, she helped me,
and i think I ate 4 of it.

we... see that crab. i'm allergic, But I ate too. and now I realized,
I'M NOT ALLERGIC ANYMORE! HAHAHA.

This is the seafood soup I mentioned.
See, nothing is left inside!!! hahahaha. we can really eat !!!

Conclusion: We spent great time with each other. I regret of calling the bowl of rice, but I finished it too. haha. Don't ever look down on us! We can really eat :) hahaha. But, seriously, honestly, we both agreed that the chances are very slim for us to visit the shop again. Because, 1. They don't let us cook ourselves, even after we told them!! :( ANGRY. We wanted to play, wanted to try. They let, but keep coming back, scared we would burn your shop? HAHA. 2. The food was not really THAT NICE, even the chicken. I tried the lamb and beef too, that was even worse -.- The chicken.... with the layer of fats on it, that's really disgusting alright. can you please cut that piece of thing out of our sight???? Instead of us, doing it? 3. the price is not very reasonable too -.-

Oh yah, both of us ate RM 71 for the meal. MAD MAD MAD. RM35 per person. WOW. First time ya xuewah?? and it will be the last time too. hahahahahaha. hope we won't be tempted to go again. Not by others, it's by ourselves. That's human nature. We love to try. We know that the food is not that nice, we still wanna go. Same goes to Secret Recipe -.- 

Yea, here it's. My FIRST post. TWO more coming. haha :)

STUPID;


THE ONLY WORD TO DESCRIBE JOLENE.

dearest,

I'm leaving soon. Going to miss you a lot lot lot, my one and only boy. :) LOVES.

miss yewyew, dont kill me. The line very lag I can't post. Now morning liao, haha. I leaving already. Tomorrow ba!

m.e.s.s

my life is in a GREAT MESS.

I guess it's an act of her for not trusting me anymore.

dono wat am i feeling now. i wish everything will be alright NOW.

im enough of it.

lalala

Woke up at 12.15. Thanks to Mr Joel. He didn't go to school too. I woke up at 7am, thinking wow, still got lots of time to sleep. That irritating boy woke up at 1 plus I think, started playing with his computer. SOSOSOSO annoying the stupid and irritating sound. I can't sleep well, really wanted to wake up and throw away his keyboard. EVIL. hehehehe. Have to cover myself with the pillows and blanket so that I could sleep. So, I slept till 12.15pm. HEHEHE.

Didn't scold him. Controlled my anger. Goodgood :) hehehe

dearest,

I ♥ Him!!

:)

I miss you a lot. See you soon :(

la la la

I finally took my undang test and passed it successfully yesterday. hahaha. Was so lazy to study for it, didn't really read much, was shivering before entering the room. Thank God everything was alright :) Going for amali this weekend. Thought of taking my license (IF CAN PASSED) before 5th nov, now no hope le :(

Yesterday whole day the connection was so damn slow. So didn't get to post about it.

Text sam and jielian, asked them to go for lunch. (breakfast) actually. Because at first didn't know what time the test will end. They said they going to library. So I decided to follow so that I could get my present for mum. At the end went to library, to disturb them. hahaha. Qw got to do one question only, huisi not sure, jielian playing all the time. hahahahaha. we were chatting and chatting :) I was just there to disturb.
At the end, didn't get the present :( Temerloh, no place to shop :( So delayed. sorry mum. huhu.

Today mum brought me go gaigai. hahaha. I didn't buy anything. So good girl. Was not in the mood for anything. Went for secret recipe for lunch and steamboat for dinner. Secret recipe. haiz. Big disappointment. Steamboat, not bad :) Slept throughout the day, will continue sleeping. don't wanna think. huhuhu





While eating steamboat, mihun and the eggs. I remembered, my baby loves the egg yolk and I love the egg white. hehehe. Perfect match? :)

我....

千言万语都说不出口，
恨这感觉。

只希望你早日明白我的心意。

感谢你们对我的批评。最让我心痛的是，我终于知道原来你，也和他们一样，那样看我。
那我，还能说什么？

说...
有用吗？

disaster

my room is the disaster area...