#fightingcancer

Hey there, it's Monday. Slap myself. I still haven't complete my assignments.
One down and one more to go.
Decided to come and blog, besides taking a break.
2 cups of coffee today, not nescafe, so it's not too bad I guess. I don't have abnormal heartbeat rates compared to that time when I drank nescafe. *touch wood* Besides coffee, a glass of brand's essence too. All prepared to stay up after two-weeks of sleep -.-

SO, I'M FINALLY DONE WITH ONE. FINALLY.

This is just a random one. My secret weapons to settle emergencies when dealing with zac! :D

Just wanna take this opportunity to share something.
I found this from facebook, which one of my college friends has been sharing around. And, I guess now, it's spread to even more places around the world. take a look!
Yea, I know what's in your mind. I don't know the person, is it real? All these kinds of thoughts and doubts will surely appear in your mind. Frankly speaking, I don't know her in personal too.
But, can we just spend a minute or two to go through her post and help to spread the news around? Even if we can't help, someone outside there may help. It's just as easy as pressing the 'share' button in facebook or to 'retweet' in twitter.
Please, please, please, she needs help. If you have a twitter account, mention this in your tweet #fightingcancer and help to trend!
Anyone who wish to help her financially, I can help to get her account number through my friend.

God knows.

now studies will be my main priority.
and God, who knows the best.

will.

Unforgettable date, unforgettable day.

last. minute. work. AGAIN.

why am I awake at this hour?
-same old problem-
last minute work.
almost done, yea i hope 'almost done' with one, and haven't touch at all for the other.
school reopens on monday.
well done, never change, when will you change? never.

wish me luck.

baba

wordy wordy

wordy wordy post. ANTI.
gives me a headache.
that's my problem, whenever I'm in the mood, I pour out all.

lalala~ 
shorter, shorter. i try.

just a short break for myself after being able to concentrate and do my work for... almost an hour? that's pretty good enough okayyyyyyyyyyy.

i'm so eager to go to church.
feel like joining saturday's youth service, should I? :)

baba
Jolene

July

School is starting soon, back to the hectic college life.
The new time table is out, pretty satisfied with it for now I guess. It's not so packed as our previous one.
It's July, I'm counting down for my birthday, still as childish as usual :) I just have to accept myself for who I am, be happy with myself, be thankful :)

I wish, I wish to stop wasting...... FOOD, TIME, MONEY...........
Feel so guilty for this bad habit. WASTE.

I need to change, but also not forgetting to be myself too :)

Off to my work. Bye.

tweet.

I may not be here so;
follow me in twitter :)

Hello people, how's life.
It's been ages since I last touched on my blog. I will assure you that this is going to be a wordy one, but I don't care. I just want to crap to the max, and forget about it, and be myself.

Yup, it has been almost three months since I shifted down to Johor. I'm still surviving people, so don't worry. It was a shocking piece of news, none of us could really accept it. I remembered I was still sleeping on bed that morning, received mum's call about her receiving her letter, we would be shifting in a week's time. My first reaction, CRY. Yup, I cry a lot, cry for everything. I cried my heart out. Spent that week with my beloved friend, Xuewah. Thank her a lot for accompanying me, for understanding all my feelings, for lending me her hand to fetch me in and out. Really appreciate it. All I thought that time was my feelings, my feelings and my feelings. I was sad, I couldn't bear to leave things behind, I wasn't really willing to shift. I didn't really have a chance to thank her, didn't really know to appreciate things that she had done for me at that time. Felt really sorry, a big thank you I would like to say to her. and of course, a big hug.

Was so sad to leave Temerloh. Shifting down here, wasn't really please with the house we rented. It's small compared to our old house, it's dirty, it's ugly. Everything is just temporary. My feelings, all I cared was for my feelings. Didn't know to appreaciate anything.

After that, didn't get into poly. Was all lost. What am I going to do? Didn't apply for jpa, didn't apply for matrix. What am I suppose to do? Realising the final choice was form six. My feelings, I don't want to go for form six, back in uniforms, back into school life, and even worse to a new school. At last, got to know about sunway college by chance, just all of a sudden, mum called up and thought I should give myself a try. This 'TRY' cost about 16k. The third day of college life, I felt depressed with the stressful life, with the need of catching up with time, the all new environment, being left out feelings, and wanted to quit ausmat. Didn't appreciate mum's effort of trying to please me to allow me to give myself a try. Didn't understand about the family's situation.


Now, taking up ausmat really taught me to handle things in a different way. College life is not same at all as compared to secondary school's life, especially pre-u. I can assure you, whether it's ausmat, a levels... Everything is like, no matter how stressed you are, you just have to hang on there and complete whatever which is needed to be completed. You have no choice but to continue until you finish it. Yea, you can cry, like I always did. After crying, YOU STILL NEED TO FACE IT. Yah, you can enjoy life, watch tv, go for shopping, waste your time sleeping like me! At the end, suffer the consequences on your own! In ausmat, I also learned to accept low, really low marks. Accept the fact that my marks will never go high. Having tests everyday frustrates me, the marks frustrates more. I failed for my maths in my evaluation exam. And for other subjects, I know what to expect. Nothing is easy. NOTHING. 


Currently on my two weeks holidays, which left with 5 more days. OMG. Two more assignments..........

full of questions and doubts.

I can't sleep, no matter how I tried, I can't sleep..
how...........

full of questions and doubts, who can answer? only you, my Father.

I don't want to give up, because I love you. I have to be strong.

God, why... I have so many questions to ask You Lord.

I won't give up.

This kind of mix feelings, who will understand?

yucksss :(

where does the smell come from?
I feel like I'm going to vomit.

I don't want to hate you, cute fishhhhhhh....

confused

what's wrong, what's correct?

or..

everything is wrong....

HELLO :D

I'm so free everyday and I can't believe I haven't got my blog a new post. The last post was 27/1, not that bad though.
I actually did two long post, supposed to be a long one, bout my previous Hong Kong trip and my chinese new year + special appointment. But then, I failed. I didn't complete it. Now just a summary of all.

Chinese new year for this year was quite bored, quite meaningless. The first and second day was nothing but sleeping. Hahaha, still remember that all of us were not in our new clothes, but our pyjamas. New trend for this year, in order to get angpows from the adults, we were asked to give 5/10 cny wishes. God bless you!! haha. Nothing special except spending time with my little baby cousin, zachary. He is just so cute and adorable, when you look at him, I guarantee all the worries and sadness in you will just disappear. Cute zac zac, everyone wants him :) He brings smiles, laughter and happiness to everyone. No matter what he does, his innocent face will just melt your heart. :)

Talking about the special appointment, it's actually an appointment with the doctor, for my irregular menses. The first day I reached there, mum and aunt surprised me with it, ''your appointment is at 7pm tomorrow night''. I wasn't that nervous and scared before going.
While we were at the clinic, it was quite annoying. Despite having an appointment, we still waited for about one hour. Till the last minute, I was told that I need to keep my urine in order to do the scan. So, I drank a bottle of water immediately. First time in my life that I finished a bottle of water in 5-10 minutes. Those who knows me, especially xuewah, knows I ''LOVE'' water the most. Went in and come out again because the doctor said I wasn't ready yet, so, more water. Waited 15 minutes + another 5 minutes.

Finally, get to scan and know the problem. I got the photo, but it's okay. I actually have a cyst in my right ovary. Not knowing what a cyst is, it was quite scary looking at the photo. But it was a real small one so the doctor said it was okay. The big problem I have is, I'm malnutrition, too thin and my body is shutting down. The doctor even described that my body is undergoing starvation period. And know what, my weight was 38.8kg. Scaryyyyyyy. Don't have appetite, tired easily, hair fall, all because I'm lack of nutrients. So now, I need to reach the target which is 43kg before I see him the next time in May. Anyway, I trust in God. Nothing is serious, just that I need to gain weight. :)

My current life. Preparing lunch from Monday to Wednesday for mum and joel, get tired and lazy on Thursday and Friday, lunch outside. haha. I'm real lazy nowadays. No one can ever imagine how messy is my room now, before cny I didn't clear them, and after cny, I haven't even unpack my stuffs. I'm just so lazyyyyy. After waking up, take my meals and back to sleep. Arghhhhhh. I'm just not in the mood for anything, just please, I don't want to lose my appetite again. :( Looking at the plate of rice just now, I began to feel ''bored, tired and lazy'' with it. PLEASE DON'T START IT AGAIN. I need to gain weight!!!!

Proud of myself, finishing a blog post for today :) No cny photos, not even a single one was taken. Only one I took with my dearest cel. That's all for now.Time to rest :)


* Love for money is the root of all evil. Found it in the bible. Can't forget which verse already.